Bangs..

All my friends are together, on one campus. I'm here, at home. It's hard to not sink into a depression and it's difficult to keep my head above water. I'm really praying that God sends something or someone to keep me here, where the humans are.
My best friend of 20 years is there without a suitmate and I'm here without my own bathroom. I wish I were there. I wish it was in God's will. I'm finding it very challenging... this... being on my own raft. I'm used to a cruise boat, with lots of people.
My best friend of 4 years is there again. And I'm pretty sure he's already forgotten about me. While we were both home we saw each other nearly every day. Now.. he could probably go weeks without talking to me. I understand that he's with his friends now... but... well, maybe I'm who I thought I was in his life.

I feel very alone. I feel vulnerable. Unsure. Confused. Anxious. Tired. Stressed. Worried.
I know I'm where I'm supposed to be. But also like I'm losing a lot.