liberal with a touch of reform and a smidgen of zippity pow!

I'm trying SO HARD to remain positive. but it's like I'm getting hit from all sides. And every side is pressuring me to just pop off on everyone. I can feel my heart hardening. I can sense my rude, sarcastic tone. The good news is... me and God are in communication, he's pouring into me, he's stretching me. When something happens, when a situation arises, he's the first person I go to. Then my mom. But he is my filter. And he's definitely growing me. But... people make it hard. Especially people that used to go to you for advice. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about change- growing- moving... all that. But not when they are changing for the worse. How do you tell someone this? "hey, you're changing into a horrible person that no one can stand to be around-mind doing something about that?" false.. you can't say that. Especially when people are encouraging them. The bad thing is, it's not GOOD encouragement. I want to say something, I want to step in.. but i can't. They're an "adult", away from home, "mature". UGH!

School, on the other hand, is amazing. I love all my classes this semester. I almost don't want it to end. But then again, NEXT semester wouldn't happen :). so much going to happen come January. Good and Bad. Mostly good... but some bad. I'm nervous about some people joining our campus. I don't know what the transitions will mean or what will happen... but all I can do is see what will happen. But I don't want to... I hate some of these changes. I want my friends. That's all. They're all changing... UGH! see, I try to change the subject but it all comes back to the same thing. CHANGE.

My birthday is in 3 days. I'm not too excited. It's just another year older, another higher number. Plus, this weekend I have to work, my grandparents are having their 50th wedding anniversary, light the night, and working again. I have no time to be with my family, which is the only fun thing about my birthday. I hate Sheetz.

That's my life, boring, horrid, and anxious. Maybe I should have another cup of coffee...

honey bunches of oats.

i just kinda want to slam my head in a door over and over.

maybe then everything will stop spinning and i can focus on something else.