Driving down the back roads only traveling 30 miles an hour. Enjoying the cool evening, hearing the creatures of the night. I couldn't help but reflect.
It'd been long, tiring, draining day. I was forced to prioritize, forced to reevaluate, and forced to be transparent. I realized something about myself in the midst of all of it. I'm not as strong as I thought. I'm also not as extroverted as I thought. I would prefer to live a life in exclusion. I would rather keep to myself, stay in, just do what I need to do to get by. Unfortunately, that's not what being a christian is about, that's not what being a disciple is about.
I'm trying. I'm pushing myself. I'm really trying to learn and grow in Christ to be who I'm meant to be.

I don't know what I'm trying to say. Maybe that's all I needed to say.
But I do know that I need my best friend with me. He can't be here right now, which hurts a little. But I know he would be if he could. It just sucks when the people closest to you can't be so close when you need them most.

I'm blessed beyond comprehension.
my friends
my family
... everything...
it's more than I deserve!! and the only think I can do, is better myself to BE deserving.

Thank you Lord. For reminding me of how gracious and loving you are.