You're a Real Tough Cookie With a Long History

Recently, I don't know what's gotten into me.
I make my bed, put away my clothes, moisturize. I've been biting my tongue [or my fingers- if you will] more often, I'm actually trying. And most of all.. I can feel it. From the inside moving it's way out. Like a ... detox. Rather nice actually. Maybe it's all the water I've been drinking or perhaps my bedroom renovation. Clearing out the clutter and moving towards being a minimalist. Whatever the reason, I like it. I feel calm, peaceful...
One thing I've really been working on is rebuilding the bridges I've burnt. They may not be a complete pile of rubble but they are charred and thankfully.. [hopefully] ..salvageable. There are people I stopped talking to the day we graduated, others whom I tried keeping in touch with, and others yet who didn't go with the plan God intended for them. It's not my place to judge what a person decides to do with their life but still I did. True, it's sad they didn't follow God's will but who knows! Maybe God has something in store for them that's much greater than I expect for myself.
Trying to build up old relationships may not be a huge step or a major change... but it's something. I'd much rather leave this Earth knowing I've done my best to be the best possible version of myself that I can be rather than be disappointed knowing I didn't try.
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I have this friend. He means the world to me. He is, seriously, the best thing to ever obnoxiously pop into my life. Though he's younger than me [:D].. he's my big brother. I know that at the end of the day it doesn't matter if he hasn't texted me or I haven't heard from him. It doesn't matter that I'm not constantly making my presence known to him where ever we may be... I know he's got my back. He'll protect me from any gross, crude, moroccan [;)] that do nothing but hurt me. And he knows I'll do just the same for him. It's a beautiful friendship we've built... :) There have been rifts, there have been complications. And they did momentarily complicate things... but... a friend is a friend for life. No Matter What. He's got my back, I've got his. Bottom line. That's it. End of Story. And with THAT being it, I couldn't be happier with our friendship being any other way :)
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We're not the exception, we're the rule.
I'm always the rule. I've dated the "Ben's". I've been with the "Neil's". I even know my fair share of "Conor's".. but where's my "Alex"? I've been the heart-broken, I've been the pawn, and I've been the heart-breaker, but for goodness sakes.... when am I going to be someone's Gigi?! It's depressing watching your best friend of 13 years show off her engagement ring when she's 3 years younger than you and has only been dating her now fiance for about a year. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely THRILLED for her!! It's amazing to see her in love and it's exciting to be a part of the process. But when is it my turn? I don't want to be the girl from 27 Dresses. But I don't want to be The Boelyn Girl either. "He's out there" I KNOW! ugh. I'm sick of being told that... Apparently, I'm supposed to wait... sooo... WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING A MOVE - - MAKE IT!!!! *rant over*
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peaceful. calm. serene.